Mutual Influence

I have my friend Blanche to thank for introducing me to European cinema. (She's the one with shades in the photo, taken at the Edinburgh Jazz Festival).



I was a HK & Hollywood film junkie before Blanche came into my life. Met her on the street one day and we just caught on like dry sticks to bonfire. She was studying textile, but much preferred fine art and wasn't really sure what she would do with her degree.

We spent most weekends scouring the library dry renting every piece of European film we could lay our hands on. Never mind we could not understand what was spoken (thank God for subtitles!), it felt close to heaven just soaking in the ambience from the 14-inch noisebox at home, which became a ritual of sorts after a while. We were living and breathing films and even had people over to share the obsession, although some of them petered out after a while.

My first European movie was White from Kieslovsky's classic epic Three Colours. Had a strange feeling after watching it, and then I wanted more. And more. Discussions would ensue after each viewing and it got more intense and stimulating over time.

Blanche and I parted when I left England for good after finishing my 2-year commitment with a Christian organisation. The day before I left, she stayed over for the night and helped me pack. As my transport to the airport arrived, we hugged and said goodbye. She watched me get in the vehicle and I looked as she disappeared around the corner.

Whilst I grew to appreciate the depth, realism and stark reality often portrayed in independant films, Blanche, the last I heard, has gone back to Hong Kong (her birthplace) and enrolled in a Bible seminary. She is now working with young people trying to find their place and meaning in this world.

Happy Food

Aaah... check these out. Had a meal with some friends at The Rakuzen in KL. (clockwise starting at 12: Sashimi, Dragon Roll, Beef slices, Salad, Hotate)

Bento

Dessert

The entire meal was 3 hours long, plus dessert. By the time the bento arrived, we were stuffed silly and unable to consume even one more morsel. Happy but satisfied, I left the restaurant, only to spend another 3 hours in Dome with a longtime friend discussing deity and religion.

Aaah... a day well spent!

Grace Sufficient

Today is my second day in bed. Severe tummy cramps and headache. An ongoing menstrual condition for many years. Everytime I bleed, I collapse on bed in pain... ALL DAY AND NIGHT (sometimes two). During these times I often wonder why my grand plans for hysterectomy didn't hatch; maybe it was because of protests from everyone who knows. But then again, I am hardly one who adheres to popular opinion.

However, this morning a radical thought flashed across my mind. I have never thanked God for menstruating. Always seen it an inconvenient body function, a hindrance, a pain, a curse of fallen (wo)mankind if you will. But I have never thanked God for having a normal body. And Paul said we are to give thanks in all situations.

OK, fine. So I thanked God for my menstrual pain. I really did, in all sincerity and honesty, I burst out in heartfelt gratitude to God despite what I was feeling.

Well, I wish I could say that the pain went away immediately, I was transformed and given a spanking new body with perfectly-formed organs draped over by flawless cellulite-free skin. I wish I could declare that the pain that plagued me every month for years and years was finally gone, and I can go around telling everyone how God has healed me. What a great testimony! What faith it will build in its hearers!

The reality was - the pain grew worse and I could not even go downstairs to eat (much).

Paul also spoke of a thorn in his flesh. We all can relate to that, I suppose, to some degree. Everyone has one embedded somewhere, some of us have more. There is something in God's reply that was universal too. "My grace is sufficient for you."

Is this some kinda joke? What kinda cold, uncaring retort is that supposeda be? Did someone mistakenly slip this statement in the Bible? Why won't God spare us the pain? He loves His children, doesn't He?

To be fair, God didn't spare His son either, when he hung on the cross and bled. And guess who he died for.

Then when I think about it, I am actually thanking Him for the privilege of the pain that helps me draw nearer to Him in a helpless, dependant sort of way. Makes me sound like a loser and wimp, but that's ok. Christians live in an upside down world where the first shall be the last, and what is important in this world (money, fame, health, status, etc) is but a passing vapour in the eyes of eternity. The bigger question is: Am I living like His grace is sufficient?

Gulp.