Grace Sufficient

Today is my second day in bed. Severe tummy cramps and headache. An ongoing menstrual condition for many years. Everytime I bleed, I collapse on bed in pain... ALL DAY AND NIGHT (sometimes two). During these times I often wonder why my grand plans for hysterectomy didn't hatch; maybe it was because of protests from everyone who knows. But then again, I am hardly one who adheres to popular opinion.

However, this morning a radical thought flashed across my mind. I have never thanked God for menstruating. Always seen it an inconvenient body function, a hindrance, a pain, a curse of fallen (wo)mankind if you will. But I have never thanked God for having a normal body. And Paul said we are to give thanks in all situations.

OK, fine. So I thanked God for my menstrual pain. I really did, in all sincerity and honesty, I burst out in heartfelt gratitude to God despite what I was feeling.

Well, I wish I could say that the pain went away immediately, I was transformed and given a spanking new body with perfectly-formed organs draped over by flawless cellulite-free skin. I wish I could declare that the pain that plagued me every month for years and years was finally gone, and I can go around telling everyone how God has healed me. What a great testimony! What faith it will build in its hearers!

The reality was - the pain grew worse and I could not even go downstairs to eat (much).

Paul also spoke of a thorn in his flesh. We all can relate to that, I suppose, to some degree. Everyone has one embedded somewhere, some of us have more. There is something in God's reply that was universal too. "My grace is sufficient for you."

Is this some kinda joke? What kinda cold, uncaring retort is that supposeda be? Did someone mistakenly slip this statement in the Bible? Why won't God spare us the pain? He loves His children, doesn't He?

To be fair, God didn't spare His son either, when he hung on the cross and bled. And guess who he died for.

Then when I think about it, I am actually thanking Him for the privilege of the pain that helps me draw nearer to Him in a helpless, dependant sort of way. Makes me sound like a loser and wimp, but that's ok. Christians live in an upside down world where the first shall be the last, and what is important in this world (money, fame, health, status, etc) is but a passing vapour in the eyes of eternity. The bigger question is: Am I living like His grace is sufficient?

Gulp.