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These...
...were what I bought today. It's been 8 years since I bought anything remotely resembling them. Kinda stopped wearing makeup since I left my country and joined Operation Mobilisation... (missionaries are not supposeda be enamoured by stuff like this, so I reckoned).
OK, so why buy them now since I survived on borrowed makeup all these years?
Last Saturday's dinner was different. I mean, I've been to dozens of dinner events and gotten dolled up couple times a year, but something was different last week. I didn't realise it until I put on the makeup, checked the mirror and... man, it felt really good. I mean, I looked fine (ok, so I looked kinda good) and felt great.
I sure hope it's not a rebound syndrome from "neglecting my appearance" all these years. You know, swinging from one extreme to another and all that. Whatever it is, the stuff's already in the bag, ready for use.
Next: This Saturday's wedding!
So. I seriously do not know what's happening to my body. Get sick once in an average of 2 - 4 weeks, a bone spur, loss of strength in arms, fingers, etc, anaemic and... I am forced to entertain the thought that immortality is grossly overrated. I may meet my mortal end sooner than I think.
Morbid? Yeah. Depressing? Slightly so. Only because I am none too entirely prepared for it. I turn 37 this year. Had some really fantastic life behind me, and I think I am richer than anyone I know coz I already have and done all that matters. However, one thing still leaves me stoked. The rush of seeing the light turn on in someone's heart and mind when they understand Truth.
Yesterday I was a wreck and feeling worse. An impending flu attack left me with terrific headaches, bodyaches and a sinister soreness creeping up my throat. I was frustrated, angry, defeated (being sick makes me this way). As I sought solace in my chatmail, a friend signed in. We exchanged pleasantries, jokes and then started talking about doctrine.
The discussion quickly picked up speed. She asked, I answered. I asked, she replied. In that flurry, something happened. A sudden illumination dawned. Truth visited her. A great work of the Holy Spirit.
God works any way He chooses, but it is in frailty that His strength is most evident... why then, are we so afraid of being weak? Of being helpless?
Grant courage Lord, as not to shy away from pain, from suffering and from the thorn where Your grace is sufficient.
What we fear is not death, but its process, Henri Nouwen tells us. He has a point there. We all know death is inevitable, but who - except those really old or terminally ill - would give the matter a serious thought?
My friend in YWAM is pushing 60, underwent several major operations, and had 4 friends die on her in the past 2 months (3 of cancer, and another - a young man in his 20s, committed suicide very recently). Shrouded in this morbid atmosphere, she awaits the biopsy results done on one of her breasts.
I have always admired this friend / mentor. She never married and was the one who forged the path showing me that abandoning all for God is not only examplery, but plausible... and ... desirable. A tremendously gifted Bible teacher, she has the rare quality of inspiring her students to want to dig deeper to uncover the truths marvelously encrypted in Scripture. She herself was a diligent student of the Word, a woman of practical wisdom and tender kindness. However, the one thing that made her stand out was her willingness to be vulnerable. To the point of baring her thoughts, like peers do, to me - someone more than 20 years her junior. What an honour and privilege. And what a great blessing.
It is this very distinctive child-like quality in her that reveals her deep, trusting and personal relationship with the Lord Jesus. For a person who's going nearer to the "other world" than she is to ours, she is beginning to ponder on the things that most of us tend to push aside.
Have I lived well?
Have I loved to my fullest?
Am I ready to meet God?
And so I ask myself these questions today too. And to my utter shame, I find that I am ill-prepared to even think of them. And yet, they are the most important questions I would ever have to answer. 1 Cor 3:12 tells of the different rewards Christians get when they meet God. Immediately, pictures of some tangible trophy comes to mind. But as any mature saint would explain, it is Christ Who is our great reward. Heaven is all about being with him in a way that is impossible while we are on earth.
Martha Snell Nicholson, the gifted poet whose verses had been used to bless many, wrote this before she died of long illness in 1957.
When I was an inarticulate child, if anyone had asked me why I was happy (despite the terrible illnesses), I would have replied, "Because it is all true about Jesus." And now, with the silver in my hair and my body bent and twisted, I can still think of no other way to express my joy rather than to say, "Because it is all true about Jesus Christ."
It is all true.
In life and death and the life everlasting.
Link
What a way to start the New Year. Binge-ing and stuffing faces till drop. Two friends and I decided to spend the first two days of 2007 at their hometowns of Teluk Intan and Sitiawan. We had planned a Pangkor trip earlier, but last-minute calls back to work derailed those intentions. So while the reservations were canceled at the 11th hour, Gracey and Ivy said what the heck, we would still go somewhere for the holidays. With no reservations anywhere else (we actually didn't try... what's the point?) the girls decided to head homeward for a quick break.
31 Dec
Arrived Ivy's home in Teluk Intan in time for the NY Countdown. The streets were packed. We passed by the famous Chee Cheong Fun shop (opens 7pm - 7am) and the line was about 15 people long. Too many cars parked there. Decided to give the cff a miss. Reached Ivy's home after midnite. Ate supper, showered and zzzzzzz!!!!!
1 jan
Woke up to the bright sunshine in Ivy's room. Showered. And performed the necessary bodily functions. Brekkie waiting for us at Ivy's mom's stall at a coffee shop nearby... yay!!!! Had CCF and a bit of curry mee. Coffee (yes, yesssss!!!). Then to Gracey's house in Sitiawan. The minute we stepped outta the car, the BuBur Cha Cha was waiting. Happening...lotsa taro, sweet potato cubes and kidney beans in rich, sweeet coconut milk... my favourite! Then the table started filling out with fresh strawberries marinated in plum sauce (slurp!) and this fruitcake baked by a nun. After this inconventional spread of hors d'oeuvres, Gracey's mom took out the killer dish... her Ang Chew Mee Sua. Ok ok, some people may think it's confinement food, but this is actually a popular dish in the Foochow community, with males and females alike. We were salivating when the chicken pieces in the red wine soup was brought out. Munch assault! The vermicelli came. And I would have never guessed the carnivorous Ivy would enjoy this dish as much as she did.
Just as we thought we could not eat anymore, Gracey's dad returned with the famous local Kon Piah, this er - let's just call it a Foochow version of the pizza. The Sitiawan Kon Piah is really different from its Sibu and Kuching cousins. Eat and discover for yourself. Then we drove out to the famous Cendol stall outside the Indian Temple. By this time, my tummy made an overload protest. But I did taste the Cendol - very rich and fresh coconut milk.
Too soon it was dinner time. We were taken to this kinda out-of-bounds lesser-known-to-tourists restaurant, where we gorged ourselves on a feast of Foochow dishes, capped with Irish Cream Bailey's on the rocks. And you'd think people can't die from overeating...
After all that food, we needed to "work out" (to ease the conscience). So it was off to Teluk Batik beachwalk, and then to Lumut Esplanade. Then it rained, and as Gracey would say "so mangkuk", hence we got stuck at the mamak drinking Milo panas.
(I am reeling in disgust as I write this... can't believe what a pig I was).
Jan 2
The only snag to an otherwise perfect slumber experience was the irritating noise from Ivy's cellphone alarm! It rang twice and woke everyone else except the person who had it on. Food was waiting for us when we got up. Didn't even have time to brush teeth properly. Peanut dessert with whole peanuts cooked in glutinous gravy... something like that. Then fruitcake and... rambutans!
"No, no... we have to leave room for lunch" we pleaded. Then got entangled in this conversation with Gracey's dad for about 2 hours talking about comparative religions, etc. We extricated ourselves in time to meet Ivy's parents for lunch. Had another sumptous meal, and I quietly vowed not to eat anything again for the next 24 hours....
30 minutes later Ivy brought us to her friend's coffee shop and ordered us a bowl of Assam Laksa each.
Sigh.
We ate no more the rest of the day. And prob shouldn't for the rest of the year...
