A Race to Run

I had time. So much time. In fact for the past couple weeks, all I had been doing had been (gasp!) letting time slip past my grip as I fretted and got frustrated. I had hit a rough patch and there seemed to be no getting out. As the condition deteriorated, I sank deeper into my own fabricated thoughts... thoughts of uselessness and wasted opportunities. Thoughts of what could have been. Thoughts of just forgetting what I had believed in thus far and concentrate on catching up with the trappings of life. I wondered who will take care of me in my old age... of retirement. Of accumulation of immediate pleasures. I wanted to just for once, think only about myself and my own interests.

Wow.

It is dangerous where your thoughts can lead you.

Some people have asked me what I expect out of Christian life. (I honestly dunno what kinda question that is, but I guess if it is asked, it somewhat deserves an answer). I actually thought long and hard. Obvious 'benefits' like eternal life / heaven aside, Christian living... or authentic Christian living, for most part, is risky, sacrificial, has no guarantee of success and basically drives one to what constitutes an early grave. History attests to those who had been tortured, killed, quartered and suffered mostly for what they treasured as the imperishable belief in an invisible God.

We are pilgrims passing thru'...

My answer, I guess, is not PR-polished. It may even sound cliche. but then again, in our weary world of media overload... what isn't?

I want to finish my race well. Life is just too darned short to be spent on something else. But my problem is, I may not always know what makes a good runner. And I keep making mistakes. I wonder how many times I can get up again, dust off the dirt and keep running. Poets say we weave the tapestry of life. I say... just let me reach the finish line with faith still intact.

Jesus, running is not my second nature, I am sure you know that. Following you is risky. But if ever there was a race worth running, it is because you promised to be there too. That makes all the difference.